Brooklyn Nine-Nine has produced some of the best and most hilarious sitcom cold opens of all time, but it’s worth considering which are the very best. Brooklyn Nine-Nine‘s cast included an array of wacky characters that kept audiences entertained for years, guided by the ridiculous and immature Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg). Having started in 2013, Brooklyn Nine-Nine came to an end with season 8 in 2021, wrapping up some brilliant character development for the whole squad as they all moved on with their lives or continued to climb up the career ladder of New York’s police force.
Throughout the show, Brooklyn Nine-Nine‘s precinct Captain, Raymond Holt (Andre Braugher), helped bring each member of the squad out of their shell, and each episode had a hysterical cold open that showed off their unique personalities. A cold open has been typically used in sitcoms to set up the events of an episode, but some have also been completely unrelated and instead used to include a random funny moment. Brooklyn Nine-Nine‘s wit is unmatched, but its engaging and comical cold opens are simply perfect.
One incredible running gag throughout Brooklyn Nine-Nine focused on Scully’s (Joel McKinnon Miller) repeated mentions of Kelly as the squad struggled to work out whether she was the detective’s wife or dog. Scully’s comments were rather ambiguous, and every time it seemed that Kelly’s identity had been agreed upon, he’d say something conflicting. In the cold open of the episode “The Ebony Falcon,” the squad chatted with their fellow detective about his weekend, asking about Kelly’s interests, favorite food, and her age.
Each of Scully’s responses made the answer less clear, as they were all relevant to both humans and dogs. Even when Jake flat-out asked Scully if Kelly was his wife or pet, Scully didn’t give a definitive answer and was more upset that his coworkers didn’t know themselves, especially as they had all worked together for so many years. Brooklyn Nine-Nine never gave a proper answer to this mystery, however. In season 7, Scully clarified that Kelly was his wife, but they also had a dog with the same name, leaving both audiences and the squad confused.
Captain Holt was established as being set in his ways from the show’s start. For example, he always preferred beige food and had particular ideals about trivial things, like having a TV in the bedroom. However, in the cold open of the episode “Show Me Going,” Holt stepped outside his comfort zone and arrived at the precinct sporting a fabulous bright red bowler hat. Holt’s strictness about attire was always very present, and his first clash with Jake in the pilot was because the detective refused to wear a tie, so it was interesting to see this change in Holt.
Although this scene had very little dialogue, it wasn’t needed, and the squad’s observations are clearly plastered across their faces. This beat is made even funnier by Jake taking a quick photo of Holt wearing the hat, which was a typical move for him and completely relatable. It was hard not to feel sorry for Holt at this moment, though, especially when he acknowledged his new style to the room, the squad’s jaws agape, stating that he “was trying something, and it didn’t work.“
The episode “The Overmining” contained Andy Samberg’s favorite cold open in Brooklyn Nine-Nine, which is no surprise, especially as Charles Boyle (Joe Lo Truglio) is so funny. Throughout the show, Boyle had a reputation for having a poor choice of words and often spoke in terrible and unintentional euphemisms. In this particular cold open, Boyle discussed his off-screen illness, telling Jake that he’d come down with “A big ol’ Dianne Wiest infection.“
However, it was the long, silent pause and Jake and Boyle staring at each other that made this cold open so funny. Jake clearly didn’t want to give a response, as he didn’t want to encourage Boyle’s behavior any further. But in typical Boyle style, he’s unable to let the joke go, bringing the cold open to an abrupt end when adding “Like yeast!” Boyle’s wordplay resulted in some great moments in Brooklyn Nine-Nine, but this one was easily his best.
There were a few moments in Brooklyn Nine-Nine that showed the squad’s boredom in the precinct during a quiet period, such as in the cold open from the episode “Skyfire Cycle.” In season 4, the squad was still on the night shift after they rushed off to save Holt and Jake in Florida, so their workload was significantly less than usual. Naturally, Jake was the one who found something hilarious to do to fill the time, and seeing the janitor waxing the bullpen floor made the cogs in his head start to turn.
Armed with a helmet and his best pair of socks, Jake slid across the shiny floor and straight toward the lift doors. However, the funniest part of this cold open happened in a matter of seconds. Jake’s face dropped as he realized the lift was opening and was met with the unamused Holt. Usually, Holt didn’t have time for Jake’s antics, but it was clear that the night shift had impacted him too, which was why it was so hilarious when he raised Jake’s arm and cheered, “The full bullpen!“
As the squad grew closer to Captain Holt in Brooklyn Nine-Nine, they became more comfortable with their straight-faced, blunt leader. In the episode “Mr. Santiago,” each member took the opportunity to show off their best impression of Holt, hypothesizing on his reaction to eating a marshmallow for the first time. This cold open was a brilliant study of the show’s characters, delving further into each of their individual personalities and their opinions of their boss.
Terry (Crews), Rosa (Stephanie Beatriz), and Gina (Chelsea Peretti) all made an attempt, nailing Jake’s criteria of trying to replicate Holt’s “voice, body language, and overall lack of flair.” However, Boyle’s impression was the funniest out of everyone’s, offering no dialogue and instead laughing at a high pitch. The moment was then made even better by Holt entering the room, trying the marshmallow, and immediately reacting just as Boyle had predicted, leaving the rest of the room stunned.
In later seasons of the show, Holt got used to Jake’s pranks and tomfoolery, even encouraging Brooklyn Nine-Nine‘s annual Halloween Heists. Although the two had very different ideas of what a good joke was, the cold open in the episode “Sicko” saw Jake pull a prank on Holt that the Captain was extremely tickled by. This cold open brilliantly highlighted Holt’s personality and his absurd view of the world, giving the audience a better understanding of his particular sense of humor.
Initially, Jake wanted to put wet ink on Holt’s podium before their morning briefing but reluctantly changed his plans after Rosa warned him that “Holt hates pranks.” Instead, he settled on moving it half an inch to the left despite believing it’d be a terrible and ineffective prank. In a twist of events, Holt found the whole ordeal to be hysterical and struggled to breathe in between his laughs, and even stopped to ring Kevin (Marc Evan Jackson) to tell him all about it.
In the cold open of the episode “Jake and Sophia,” Amy Santiago (Melissa Fumero) did something incredibly out of character and arrived late to work. In this scene, the squad gathered to share their theories on Amy’s absence, ranging from Rosa thinking she’d “tucked herself into bed too tight and got stuck” to Jake believing that Amy had “slipped into a sewer grate and [was] having sex with a mole man.” This was a great way for the characters to display their perceptions of Amy and her very particular quirks that gave her the reputation of being a teacher’s pet.
Brilliantly, Holt was the only one who correctly predicted why Amy was late and pressured her to reveal that she’d been at the bank. This scene also contained another amazing out of character moment, and when Holt found out he was right, he provided one of Brooklyn Nine-Nine‘s best quotes: “HOT DAMN!” However, Jake’s constant teasing and enjoyment of the situation was rather sweet, clearly interested in why Amy hadn’t arrived at work. This cold open was an interesting way to set up the rest of the episode, which delved further into a possible Jake and Amy relationship.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine‘s iconic Backstreet Boys cold open from the episode “DFW” was one of the show’s best. Jake’s musical murder interrogation was actually a last-minute addition to the episode and one that Brooklyn Nine-Nine audiences were glad for. As he helped a woman observe five men to narrow down the identity of her brother’s murderer, Jake failed to take the situation seriously once he saw the opportunity to burst into the Backstreet Boys song “I Want It That Way.”
It was funny enough that the men engaged in his ridiculousness, singing on command, but what made this cold open even more hilarious was that the true murderer was the best singer. Then, without being prompted, the rest of the lineup followed him as his backup singers. Hysterically, the woman had to remind Jake what they were there for, bringing one of the best scenes in Brooklyn Nine-Nine to an end. Interestingly, the Backstreet Boys were so impressed with this cold open that they went on to recreate it themselves.