Spoilers are ahead for Turtles All the Way Down.
When John Green’s Turtles All the Way Down was released in 2017, readers were baffled by the book’s peculiar title. For newcomers, the movie’s title is similarly cryptic. Although Turtles All the Way Down features a lizard-like New Zealand reptile called the tuatara, it doesn’t feature any literal turtles. Instead, the movie and book’s title is something much more metaphorical. Director Hannah Marks’ adaptation centers on Aza Holmes (Isabela Merced), a teenager who lives with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Often, Aza grapples with intrusive thought spirals, especially where the very idea of the human microbiome is concerned.
One of Aza’s most persistent and all-consuming intrusive thoughts stems from her anxiety about being diagnosed with C. diff. To cope with the obsessive thought spiral, she performs compulsions โ namely, cleansing the never-fully-healed callus on her finger in an effort to drain out any trace of life-threatening C. diff. Although Aza knows that her spirals are irrational, OCD is an anxiety disorder; there’s no way to think her way out of the barrage of intrusive thoughts. Performing the related compulsions only provides temporary relief from said anxiety, thus perpetuating Aza’s harrowing experiences with her OCD.
Throughout the film, Aza describes her most acute experiences with intrusive thoughts as “thought spirals.” Although some of the biggest book differences in Turtles All the Way Down stem from Aza’s connection to Davis Pickett (Felix Mallard), the film still portrays Davis as a compassionate person who tries his best to understand Aza’s thought patterns and triggers. Even Davis’ painting of a spiral draws Aza in as it finally feels like a manifestation of her brain’s way of navigating anxiety. That said, the title is actually a perfect encapsulation of Aza’s experience, even if it refers to a philosophical joke.
The phrase “turtles all the way down” expresses the problem of infinite regress, which is best described as a “series of appropriately related elements with a first member but no last member, where each element leads to or generates the next in some sense” (via Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy). Visually speaking, a turtle rests on the back of a bigger turtle, which itself rests on the back of an even bigger turtle, and the individual turtles are all part of a column of turtles that continues on indefinitely. The phrase also references the mythological World Turtle, which carries the world on its back.
In the Turtles All the Way Down movie adaptation, Aza is taken with a college philosophy lecturer named Professor Abbott (J. Smith-Cameron), who is able to take “dusty” old concepts and make them feel incredibly relevant. When Davis learns that Aza has trouble navigating new experiences, which may impact her dreams of going to college in Chicago, the billionaire’s son flies her to Professor Abbott’s latest lecture. Afterward, Aza approaches Professor Abbott, saying she’s a huge fan. But she also expresses an overwhelming concern: Aza fears that she isn’t real.
Due in large part to her OCD, Aza feels that she isn’t the one controlling her thoughts or actions. When she looks for the originator of her thoughts, Aza can’t seem to pinpoint her “real” self. The teenager likens the experience to nesting dolls that go on and on โ hollow forever with no solid ending. Professor Abbott then shares an anecdote about a famous scientist. While explaining the layout of the universe, the scientist is scoffed at by a woman who claims that the world actually rests on the back of a giant turtle. The scientist then asked her to explain what the turtle is resting on; it couldn’t possibly be in free fall, after all.
The woman explains that the World Turtle rests on the back of another, larger turtle. According to the woman, the pattern goes on and on. In effect, “it’s turtles, all the way down.” Professor Abbott explains that Aza is picturing a stack of turtles with one final turtle at the bottom, but that, instead, she should picture the turtle column as infinite. “Youโre imagining the true self, the self that exists independent of circumstance, but maybe itโs turtles all the way down โ maybe youโre infinite,” Professor Abbott tells Aza.
In John Green’s novel, the story isn’t shared by Professor Abbott. Instead, Aza’s best friend, Daisy Ramirez (Cree Cicchino), recalls the phrase as something she heard her mom’s friend say once. By including Professor Abbott in Turtles All the Way Down‘s cast of characters, the movie adaptation puts a greater emphasis on these existential themes. The scene is incredibly empowering for Aza โ even if that feeling is fleeting. For a moment, she can picture herself attending college and experiencing new things. For a moment, she gains a greater understanding of herself.
Part of what makes Aza’s experiences with OCD so challenging is that the disorder causes Aza to doubt her own mind. During a thought spiral, she tries to assure herself that she cleaned her callus and applied a fresh Band-Aid, but the attempts at self-assurance only worsen her anxiety. While Aza’s intrusive thoughts center most often on the human microbiome and unseen germs, they also turn existential when she wonders if she isn’t real. For Aza, her OCD seems to “hijack” her mind and body, and she can’t find relief from her own anxious mind.
In turn, this makes her doubt her sense of self, because she can’t parse out what’s really troubling and what’s an intrusive, obsessive fear born from anxiety. The visual aid of a column of never-ending turtles perfectly captures Aza’s thought spirals. What’s so powerful about Professor Abbott’s anecdote, however, is that she helps shift Aza’s perspective. Professor Abbott doesn’t seek to assure Aza that she’s real, but posits instead that Aza โ like the column of turtles โ is infinite, and suggests that feeling doubtful makes her more real โ not less.
Although there’s no thinking her way out of anxious thoughts, obsessions, or compulsions, Aza can shift her perspective and manage these symptoms. Later on, this kind of shift occurs when Aza chooses to lean into her support system and learn more about Dr. Singh’s (Poorna Jagannathan) management tools, including using prescribed medication and practicing exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy (via International OCD Foundation). Turtles All the Way Down‘s ending is so powerful because it doesn’t suggest that Aza will magically “get better.” Instead, the film shows that she can learn to manage her disorder, and that, despite the challenges, she has a whole future ahead of her.
Sources: Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, International OCD Foundation