Killing The Beloved, By Abdul Mahmud
“A horrific incident occurred in Oron, Akwa Ibom State, earlier today, where a 42-year-old man, Victor Okoh, allegedly murdered his 38-year-old wife, Victoria Okoh, with a machete over accusations of infidelity,” an online newspaper reported last week. The brutal killing of Victoria Okoh adds to the growing and tragic list of women who have met their untimely deaths at the hands of men who once professed love for their beloved. But this murder, like countless others before it, did not happen in an instant or without warnings. Certainly, there were signs – silent screams that went unheard, cries for help that were ignored, and wounds, both visible and invisible, that were dismissed, unacknowledged, deliberately ignored, met with indifference, until the scream faded into fatal silence.
Killing the beloved is as galling as the lingering pains of those whose voices have been reduced to mere echoes, fading into the indifferences of our society. Amidst grief and silence, the true causes of their suffering – gender-based violence and deep-seated inequalities- are still casually dismissed as if they don’t exist or only lend themselves out to the moments of mourning in which we express “eyaah” and move on with our fleeting empathy which dissolves like morning dew under the fierce sun and vanishes before it can truly take root in the soul. It is not the absence of shared pain that galls; it is the absence of response to gender-based violence and the deep-seated inequalities that allow cruelty to persist unchallenged and to repeat itself in the unbroken cycle of anguish that is profoundly galling.
The relentless rise in femicide which casts a grim shadow over our consciences has ignited deep concerns, resonating most strongly with Gen Z digital natives who have taken to the social media to amplify their outrage and demand justice. Femicide, the killing of women and girls, is a grave violation of human rights and a stark reminder of the deep-seated gender inequalities that persist in our country today. Recent statistics are alarming: in January, 2025 alone, 17 cases were reported, making a 240% increase compared to the same period in the previous year. Research has shown that femicide is often the culmination of a complex interplay of factors, including societal norms, psychosocial factors, and cultural values which scholars – like Ngozi Nwadike, Richard Aborisade, Jacqueline Campbell, Abimbola Shontan and Uzoma Okoye – have consistently interrogated. But, the complex interplay of cultural values and societal norms doesn’t dismiss the pattern of coercive control and manipulation of victims by perpetrators that precede femicide.
Why is femicide on the increase in our country today? In providing an answer, we have to look at the cultural values that perpetuate gender-based violence; and the patriarchal structures of our society that often relegate women, making them vulnerable to exploitation, victimisation, and abuse. The notion that women are inferior to men, and wives submissive to their husbands, is a pervasive attitude that perpetuates femicide. All of this has given rise to the normalisation of violence against women. One only needs to go back and read the sordid stories of the killings of Victoria Okoh and Salome Adaidu to make sense of the bestial impulses that drove the human misfits to take the lives of both women. Here’s what Timilehin Ajayi who brutally murdered Salome and dismembered her remains said: “She went into the bathroom and started some things. Immediately, those things started, and I couldn’t take it lightly. I had to go into the room where I could get certain things that would happen. So I took the knife from the restroom. I went to her. She was laying her hand down. I held her neck, and I did what I had to do.”
What stands out most in Ajayi’s confession is his grandiose sense of self-importance and complete lack of empathy. His words reveal a man who viewed himself as the center of his own universe, entitled to exert power over another life without remorse. This toxic combination of inflated ego and emotional detachment is a recurring pattern in many cases of gender-based violence. Men who kill women often do so not in a fit of uncontrollable rage but with a chilling sense of justification – believing, as Ajayi seemed to, that their grievances, desires, or wounded pride outweigh the very existence of their victims. The brutal murders of Salome and Victoria are yet another tragic testament to this mindset. Ajayi and Okoh’s actions reflect a profound disregard for humanity, reducing women to objects whose fate they could decide at will. The ease with which Ajayi rationalised his crime underscores how entitlement, unchecked by empathy, breeds brutality. His confession should not just shock us; it should only compel us to confront the underlying attitudes that make such horrors possible.
To address the increasing rate of femicide in our country, we must challenge the societal norms and cultural values and address the psychosocial factors that perpetuate gender-based violence. This requires a fundamental shift in the way we think about women and their roles in our country. We must recognise that women are equal to men and deserve the same rights and respect. We must also provide support to victims of domestic violence and femicide. This includes providing access to safe shelters. We must also ensure that perpetrators of femicide are held accountable for their actions and receive the punishment they deserve.
Femicide interrogates women’s right to life in a tragic way. So, we must go beyond merely protecting women’s right to life; we must build a country that truly values and respects women – one where their dignity is unquestionable, their safety is non-negotiable, and femicide is neither tolerated nor excused. This requires more than policy prescriptions or legal protections; it demands a fundamental shift in our cultural attitudes and the dismantling of the deep-seated entitlement that allows men to see women as expendable “objects”. A just country does not merely punish acts of violence, it prevents them by instilling in every citizen the unshakeable truth that a woman’s life is not subject to a man’s will.
We must end the silent scream. We must take a stand against femicide and work towards a future where women and girls can live free from fear of violence and death. We owe it to ourselves, our mothers, our daughters, and our sisters to create a safer, more equitable society for all.
The alarming rise of femicide in our country is a wake-up call for all of us. We must take immediate action to address the societal norms, cultural values, and individual psychological characteristics that contribute to femicide.
The time for action is now.
