What ladies need to hear

I wish to tell female preachers that they should begin preaching, “work on yourself” more than they harp on “package yourself” to ladies.

Packaging is about the easiest thing that most people can do if they are in a good place.

If people go on ‘packaging’ without doing the groundwork on themselves, it’s a mask that they will end up wearing; one that is quick to drop on the ground.

“Work on yourself” makes people dive deeper into themselves, and arms them with the sincerity to confront what’s not sitting well within.

A female preacher once said to the single ladies she was addressing, “Go and spend that money on hair. Natural hair is not selling market (sic). When you marry, you can remove your wig, because you have entered. There is nothing they can do about it.”

Packaging is so shallow that if your consciousness is wrapped around it, it chips away at whatever is left of the real you on a regular basis.

It is a validation-seeking wagon that shouldn’t be encouraged to be the core of one’s existence.

It is a mask that nobody should make ‘who’ they are becoming, because it does not motivate a sober reflection.

Only God knows the extent of the trauma, nightmare and disappointment that “packaging” has left on people in relationships and marriages.

Some men are even married to women whose real ages they don’t know!

Frankly, the message should be “work on yourself”.

It is the sincerity of this effort that would checkmate the excesses (and often vain nature) of packaging.

It is not a wholesome self that is on the driver’s seat of the life of anybody, who is running with packaging.

Some words are so shallow that they ought not to emanate from the pulpit.

Wearing a wig is not the choice of every lady, and women should be encouraged to feel beautiful in whatever look they are most at home with.

I also have a problem with encouraging desperate search (for a husband) in ladies. It’s not necessary, especially if we understand that life has her ways when it comes to what we are destined for.

Most ladies I know did not meet “Mr. Right” in their desperate era.

Actually, that’s when they hit the dust in the name of searching for love. Desperation can never give you what is worthwhile, and that is what should be preached to single ladies.

The goal should be to live your best life daily. In living your best life daily, self-improvement and development are guaranteed. Self-care and self-love will become your creed. The quality of your life and interactions will also get better.

When these efforts become a way of life, you will not need to search for anybody, because life is already giving you daily experiences that can alter your marital status any day.

If there is anything single ladies should be encouraged to shun in their lives, it is searching desperately for a husband. That is when a lot of mistakes are guaranteed to happen in their lives.

Don’t believe that your life is incomplete because there’s no husband yet.

If you feed that desperate energy, all sorts of people will start lining your path, and you will begin to bemoan your fate.

Simply learn to live your best life daily, taking into account that a best life does not happen without a better attitude. Then, you leave the rest to God.

Life does not respond favourably to desperation because it negates its principles. Rather, life favours patience; and, it is big on times and seasons.

One favour that every single lady should do herself is to intentionally excise desperation from her life. Desperation is you telling life that there is nothing else in your life that is worth cherishing.

There is something that every lady owes herself and that is ‘living life to the fullest’, regardless of her marital circumstances.

A relationship must not be marriage bound for you to savour it. The truth that no lady likes to consider is that not everybody is destined to be married.

Learn to live your life on purpose, and become less distracted by every marriage talk.

One of the reasons you are not happy is probably because of all that “desperate searching” for a husband. Desperation is not compatible with happiness!

You really don’t want to look back on your life and realise the needless unhappiness you brought upon yourself because there was no husband in the picture.