It’s no longer news that several marriageable young men and women have continued to roam the streets of our cities in search of suitable life partners, yet they remain single.
Arewa PUNCH findings reveal that often times, this situation has been attributed to the poor state of the economic situation of the country whereby many graduates can not get jobs to feed themselves, let alone of feeding an extra mouth.
In some cases where some young men are privileged to find a “sort of job” to manage, the willingness to make adjustments to accommodate an extra person in their life has become difficult and almost unbearable due to societal demands of an elaborate traditional marriage ceremony with its associated flamboyance.
In Benue State, Arewa PUNCH investigations has further revealed that unlike the old tradition whereby families charge as much as a million naira for the bride price of their beautiful daughters, especially, if the lady is a higher school graduate, the situation may no longer be the same.
Our correspondent learnt that this desire of usually the bride’s parents to collect exorbitant bride price and push for weddings which reek of opulence and grandeur, according to Freddie Adamgbe had made many marriageable young people to remain unmarried.
To reverse this development, the paramount ruler of the Tiv nation, the Tor Tiv, His Imperial Majesty, Professor James Ayatse, in a surprise move, announced the slashing of total expenses surrounding traditional marriage among Tiv parents to N100,000 or less.
Arewa PUNCH further findings indicate that the announcement was received with joy and open arms by the mighty and lowly in Tivland as they unuanimously insist that they were of the belief that it would not only restore the tradition of the ethnic group but also pave the way for the low class people in the society muster the courage and willingness to get married.
Welcoming the announcement, a middle-aged lady, Mrs Tina Emmanuel, described the pronouncement as a welcome development.
According to her, the pronouncement will help to restore the tradition of the Tiv people of paying less for traditional marriage.
Mrs Emmanuel said, “it’s a welcome development. Before now, even in my family in Tarka LGA, the eligible groom would have to pay as much as N500,000 and N300,000 as bride price, and this is aside other traditional requirements involving large sums of amount and also involving the many people expected to grace the traditional marriage.
“I’m happy that it’s taking us back to our old culture where just few people have to grace traditional marriage with less cost.”
However, she called on the Tiv traditional council to strictly enforce the directive as she expressed concerns that the wealthy people in the land may flout it.
In his submission, the President General of Mzough U Tiv Worldwide, which is the pan socio-cultural group of the Tiv nation, retired Comptroller of Prison, Iorbee Ihagh, he described the Tor Tiv announcement as a welcome development.
He told Arewa PUNCH that some family members suggested to him to demand N500,000 as pride price when he was given his daughter’s hands in marriage but declined and collected just a meagre amount of N5,000.00
Ihagh also recollected that when the Tor Tiv
gave his daughter’s hands in marriage, he collected just a paltry sum N1,000.00 as bride price.
In the estimation of Ihagh, “that is leading by example.”
The President General of Mzough U Tiv Worldwide lamented that what was obtainable before the Tor Tiv’s recent pronouncement was alien to the Tiv culture.
He said, “All those elaborate traditional marriage ceremonies were borrowed culture. It was very obvious that we had introduced a lot of things that were not part of our culture into our marriage system and we needed to reverse these anomalies.
“The Tiv people before, if they want to marry, only two or three people from both the groom and bride families would meet. This is contrary to what is obtainable before the announcement where the two families have thousands of people attending traditional marriage,” he stressed.
Ihagh added, “there was this culture in Tivland that we called ‘elopement’, a man can elope with his heart-throb and when the parents of the bride demanded for bride price, the simple thing to do was to kill a fowl and give little amount of money to the wife’s family and they go.
“In this case, the in-laws are well respected instead of collecting millions of naira for a bride price as if you are selling off the lady.
“As the President General of Mzough U Tiv Worldwide, I speak for Tiv people across the globe, and I am saying it is a welcome development.”
Corroborating the “elopement” with a wife as part of culture in Tivland, a community leader and former aide to former governor Gabriel Suswam, Joseph Anawah described it as an ‘oral tradition.’
He said, “There is a tradition, though, unwritten in Tivland, to elope with your heart throb. This is allowed by Tiv tradition, and most people married through that method.”
While equally welcoming the announcement by the Tor Tiv, Anawah decried the expensive traditional marriage that has overtaken the original tradition of the Tiv nation and her people.
He said, “it was not like this before. All these things you are seeing in traditional marriages in Tiv land are borrowed culture. In those days, it used to be a simple exchange of cowries, and with the coming of currency, bride price was very small.
“For instance, my mother was married to my father for just two pounds,” he disclosed.
Proffering reasons why the Tiv Traditional Council came out with the new order, the Special Assistant to Tor Tiv on Media and ICT, Freddie Adamgbe told Arewa PUNCH via a phone conversation on Tuesday that it was to heed to the yearnings of the young people (both males and females) who are Tor Tiv subjects’ complaints about the high cost of traditional marriage ceremony in the land.
Adamgbe said, “When Tor Tiv was enthroned, there were complaints from his subjects about the skyrocketing bride price in Tivland where some families demanded as huge as N500,000 or more with a long list of demands.
“So, the Tiv Area Traditional Council sat and looked at all these and concluded that all expenses around traditional marriage should not exceed N100,000.00.”
He added that the decision was in consultation with the INJITAMEN (comprising all Traditional rulers, stakeholders, and elders), which constitute the Supreme Council of the Tiv nation.