advice

“I fell in love with my late brother’s wife six months after his dem!se. She’s currently pregnant for me, I don’t know what to do” – Man seeks advice

A man has sought the public’s advice and opinion in marrying his late brother’s wife whom he fell in love with and who is currently pregnant for him.

In anonymity to a (X) Twitter personality @Jib☆Ďolląŕ, the man wrote his dilemma:

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“I am in Love with my late brother’s wife. My brother got married to this beautiful lady in August 2020. They had two kids before he passed on. Throughout their marriage, I was in the UK and only came back last year when I lost my brother. After the burial, my family gave her two choices: since she’s still young, she can decide to go back to her parents and remarry whenever she’s ready.

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Secondly she can still stay in husband’s house and whenever she finds a man she can get married and move on with her life. She’s just 25yrs old. So she chose to stay and mourn her husband. I normally paid her and the kids visits regularly. Just to check on her and the kids, buy them stuff her husband could have bought if he was still alive. I tried to make her happy and not to really feel the gap in her husband’s absence. I won’t lie I was doing all these as a caring brother in-law with no intentions. I knew my brother would take care of my kids and wife if I was the one who passed away.

It was last weekend I promised to take my late brother’s wife and the kids for an outing. We went out and had fun then I dropped them home upon leaving the daughter who was just a year old started crying for me not to leave. I stayed back and played a bit until she fell asleep. As days passed, I realized I’m having feelings for my late brother’s wife. I tried to fight the feelings by not going there often but she will call me whenever the kids ask of me or they want something. Even as I stayed away I couldn’t get her off my head. This was just six months after my brother death. I struggled for two months to kill that feeling but it wasn’t easy.

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One afternoon, she called me and asked if I was avoiding her and the kids or if there is anything she did wrong? I felt guilty but I couldn’t open up to her that I have fallen in love with her already. Mind you I’m not married and I don’t have kids yet. After my brother’s wife complained, I started visiting and behaved normal as usual and one day, I mustard the courage to tell her my feelings towards her.

Yes she felt uncomfortable but I told her I will respect her decision and if she wants I can stay away from her. She cried and asked me what people say? Yes she feels comfortable around me but she doesn’t want anything that will bring problems to the family. I felt relieved after airing out my feelings for her.

I can tell now we have been secretly having sex, I just can’t get over her. I dearly love and care about her and I don’t want to keep doing things in secret anymore. We celebrated my brother’s one year memorial last two months and I think I want to open up to my family and hers. I want to marry her. I’m deeply in love with her and I know she loves me too. In fact as I speak she’s pregnant for me. Nobody will treat my brother’s children better than I can. They call me daddy. They are still very young.

My worry is how do I break this news to my family? Am I wrong by fallen in love with her? I thought of secretly marrying her and moving with her and the kids to the UK so we peacefully continue our lives before the pregnancy becomes obvious. Please someone should advise me.”

What would you tell him to do?